In this sub-section, I am republishing my old texts, which were originally published over 10 years ago on Schicksal und Herausforderung (Fate and Challenge), with new commentary. I think they are important, but I must admit that some of them have really not aged well. That is why I have created this sub-section, so that I can separate them a little from more recent content and add notes here to indicate how outdated some aspects are.
In particular, you will notice that I describe extremely strong, almost compulsive sexual urges. That was the case for me, and some pedophiles can relate to this, but probably not the majority. At the time, I considered them normal, since pedophiles were viewed and regarded in this way. As I later discovered, these overwhelming feelings stemmed primarily from a “self-fulfilling prophecy”: out of fear of pedophilia, I paid far too much attention to my own sexual feelings and perceived them as exaggerated, as if under a magnifying glass – and I overreacted with concern to even the slightest stirrings. This distorted my self-perception. Why did I have this fear? Because of the stigma that we as a society have attached to pedophilia. It was only because of this stigma that I was so extremely afraid. Stigma as a magnifying glass for problems. And without this fear... well, I would have had completely different resources to learn to live with my pedophilic feelings from the beginning.