In this sub-section, I am republishing my old texts, which were originally published over 10 years ago on Schicksal und Herausforderung (Fate and Challenge), with new commentary. I think they are important, but I must admit that some of them have really not aged well. That is why I have created this sub-section, so that I can separate them a little from more recent content and add notes here to indicate how outdated some aspects are.
In particular, you will notice that I describe extremely strong, almost compulsive sexual urges. That was the case for me, and some pedophiles can relate to this, but probably not the majority. At the time, I considered them normal, since pedophiles were viewed and regarded in this way. As I later discovered, these overwhelming feelings stemmed primarily from a “self-fulfilling prophecy”: out of fear of pedophilia, I paid far too much attention to my own sexual feelings and perceived them as exaggerated, as if under a magnifying glass – and I overreacted with concern to even the slightest stirrings. This distorted my self-perception. Why did I have this fear? Because of the stigma that we as a society have attached to pedophilia. It was only because of this stigma that I was so extremely afraid. Stigma as a magnifying glass for problems. And without this fear... well, I would have had completely different resources to learn to live with my pedophilic feelings from the beginning.
Darf ich auf die Kleine achten, dort schräg hinter mir im Zug? Das Mädchen auf dem nächsten Vierer, blond mit Mutter bei der Hand? Sie spricht russisch –...
Marco hat von seinen Erfahrungen mit SSRIs (Antidepressiva mit triebdämpfender Wirkung) geschrieben. Ich möchte von meinen Erfahrungen mit Antiandrogenen b...